The Art of Pretentious Beer Talk: Confessions from the Craft Beer Enthusiast

At a recent bottle share, I found myself caught in the web of craft beer jargon, which led me to share some rather pretentious thoughts on a barrel-aged sour. As soon as the bottle was opened, I confidently proclaimed how I “truly appreciated the unique interplay between the brett yeast and oak tannins, resulting in an exquisite array of phenolic compounds.” The irony? I hadn’t the slightest clue what phenolic compounds actually were. It felt like I had cobbled together wine-related lingo paired with a vague memory from a brewing podcast.

What truly struck me was the collective nodding of heads around the table, suggesting that my words had profound impact. So, naturally, I felt compelled to elaborate, adding something about the beer “expressing local terroir through indigenous microflora.”

Reflecting on my recent craft beer experiences, I realized that just last month, I described the “mouthfeel complexity” of another beer when, in reality, I meant to say it had a rich, thick texture. It hit me like a ton of bricks—most of what I was saying was complete nonsense, akin to a craft beer version of Mad Libs.

This revelation left me wondering: Are we all just echoing phrases we’ve heard in the hopes of sounding knowledgeable, all the while fearing that someone might call us out on our lack of understanding? It seems we sometimes substitute genuine appreciation for a convoluted lexicon, creating an atmosphere where pretentiousness overshadows sincere enjoyment.

Does anyone else relate to this experience? Have you found yourself using beer terminology without quite grasping its meaning, or do you have your own tales of pretentious conversations gone awry? Let’s share our stories and have a laugh about the delightful, albeit confusing, world of craft beer dialogue.