The Art of Pretentious Beer Talk: A Confession

We’ve all been there: sipping a rich and complex craft beer, surrounded by fellow enthusiasts, and feeling the pressure to sound knowledgeable and sophisticated. At a recent bottle share event, I found myself in a situation that epitomized this experience.

When someone uncorked a barrel-aged sour, I seized the moment to sound like an expert. In a moment of enthusiasm, I proclaimed my appreciation for the “characteristic brett intertwining with oak tannins to yield exquisite phenolic compounds.” The truth? I had no real understanding of what phenolic compounds even are. I suspect I combined fancy wine jargon with snippets I had absorbed from a brewing podcast.

To my surprise, my audience nodded in agreement, as if I had just revealed a profound truth. Emboldened by their reaction, I continued my pretentious monologue, adding, “This beer beautifully expresses local terroir through indigenous microflora.” If I had been honest, I would have admitted I was simply trying to sound smart.

Just last month, I confidently described a beer’s “mouthfeel complexity,” when what I truly meant was that it had a thick texture. In retrospect, my attempts to sound sophisticated were little more than craft beer improv, where I strung together words I had heard others say, hoping I wouldn’t be called out for my lack of understanding.

It makes me wonder: Are we all guilty of this? Do we sometimes overcomplicate our love for beer with language that sounds impressive but lacks real substance? If you’ve ever found yourself in a similar predicament, know that you’re not alone. Let’s embrace our shared passion for beer and drink for the sheer joy of it—pretentious talk be damned!