The Art of Pretentious Beer Speak: Confessions from the Craft Beer Community

In the world of craft beer enthusiasts, there’s a certain allure to the language we use to describe our favorite brews. This past weekend, while attending a bottle share, I found myself in a situation that many might relate to. A fellow beer lover cracked open a barrel-aged sour, and in an impulsive moment, I began to wax poetic about how I “truly appreciated the characteristic brett interacting with the oak tannins to create some beautiful phenolic compounds.”

The honest truth? I don’t truly grasp what phenolic compounds are. It seemed like an impressive string of words, likely cobbled together from a blend of wine terminology and snippets from a brewing podcast I had half-listened to several weeks earlier.

The irony hit me hard when everyone around me nodded in understanding, as if I had just shared the secrets of the universe. Emboldened by their apparent agreement, I found myself elaborating further, mentioning how the beer “expresses local terroir through indigenous microflora.” What does that even mean?

Reflecting on past experiences, I recall a moment when I attempted to articulate a beer’s “mouthfeel complexity,” when what I really meant was that it had a rich, thick texture. It was pure nonsense—like playing a game of craft beer Mad Libs, substituting in buzzwords for actual substance.

I can’t help but wonder if many of us are just echoing the sophisticated phrases we’ve encountered in conversations or reading, hoping nobody will notice that we’re on shaky ground. Who else has found themselves in the midst of pretentious beer talk, grappling with the fear of being called out for not knowing what we think we know?

Let’s embrace the truth: we love craft beer, whether we lexicon like connoisseurs or simply enjoy it for what it is—a delightful experience worth sharing with friends.