The Art of Pretentious Beer Talk: Confessions from the Craft Beer Scene

At a recent bottle share, I found myself in an environment teeming with beer enthusiasts, all eagerly sampling a barrel-aged sour ale. Feeling the need to impress, I enthusiastically proclaimed my appreciation for how “the characteristic Brett interacts with the oak tannins to produce exquisite phenolic compounds.” The irony? I didn’t have a clue what phenolic compounds really are. It was as if I had jumbled together wine jargon with snatches of dialogue I’d faintly recalled from a brewing podcast.

What made the situation even more amusing was the collective nod of approval I received from those around me, as if I had just imparted some profound insight. Emboldened by their affirmation, I continued, asserting that the beer “expresses local terroir through indigenous microflora.” If I had looked up the meaning of terroir, I would have learned that it’s a nuanced term often used in viticulture—something I had no business applying to beer.

Just last month, I caught myself describing a beer with “mouthfeel complexity,” when in reality, all I meant to say was that it had a rich, thick texture. What was I thinking? It felt as though I was playing a game of craft beer mad libs, cobbling together phrases I’ve heard tossed around in conversations, fully aware that I might be called out at any moment.

It seems like many of us in the craft beer community occasionally indulge in this facade, mimicking terminology we don’t fully grasp, all in the name of sounding knowledgeable. Does anyone else resonate with this experience? I’d love to hear your stories about those moments of pretentious beer banter that left you equally amused and bewildered.