The Art of Pretension: Have You Ever Spouted Off About Beer But Had No Idea What You Were Saying?

Last weekend, I found myself at a bottle share that quickly turned into a showcase of craft beer snobbery. When someone opened a barrel-aged sour, I felt compelled to contribute to the conversation. I declared, with surprising confidence, that I “truly appreciated the characteristic brett interacting with the oak tannins to create some beautiful phenolic compounds.” The reality? I had no clue what phenolic compounds actually entailed. It seemed I was amalgamating wine jargon with a snippet of a brewing podcast I had listened to weeks prior.

What struck me as particularly amusing was how everyone around me nodded, seemingly enthralled by my impressive vocabulary. Buoyed by their reaction, I pressed on with more jargon, mentioning how the beer was “expressing local terroir through indigenous microflora.”

Reflecting on it later, I realized that I had fallen into a familiar trap. Just the month before, I had found myself raving about a beer’s “mouthfeel complexity,” trying to sound sophisticated when I really just meant that it tasted thick.

Looking back, I can now see it was sheer nonsense—an exercise in craft beer mad libs. It dawned on me that we often echo phrases we’ve overheard, hoping to fit in while lacking a true understanding of what we’re discussing. Does this resonate with anyone else, or have I unwittingly stepped into the realm of pretentious beer enthusiasts? Let’s embrace our shared experiences, whether they are enlightening or downright absurd!