The Art of Pretentious Beer Talk: Confessions from a Craft Beer Enthusiast

As craft beer aficionados, we often find ourselves in lively discussions about our latest discoveries, seeking to articulate the nuances that distinguish one brew from another. However, there are moments when we can get swept up in the pomp of our own language, showcasing our knowledge—or lack thereof—of the intricacies of beer. Recently, I had a humbling experience that made me question the authenticity of my beer lingo.

At a recent bottle share, a friend unveiled a captivating barrel-aged sour. Eager to contribute to the conversation, I launched into what I thought was an insightful commentary about how “the characteristic brett interacted with the oak tannins to yield some beautiful phenolic compounds.” Little did I know, my grasp on what “phenolic compounds” truly meant was nonexistent! It turned out I had just fused bits of wine terminology with some fragmented knowledge from a brewing podcast I had half-listened to.

What truly amused—and slightly embarrassed—me was the collective nodding from my peers, as though I had unveiled a nugget of wisdom. Emboldened by their responses, I confidently added more jargon, remarking that the beer “expressed local terroir through indigenous microflora,” as if I had just completed a captivating lecture on wine geography.

This experience reminded me of another moment from just last month, where I confidently described a beer’s “mouthfeel complexity,” when all I really meant to communicate was its thick and creamy texture.

It’s funny to reflect on these moments of utter nonsense. In hindsight, I realize I was crafting a verbal version of “craft beer mad libs,” using the tried-and-true phrases we’ve all heard before, all while hoping no one would catch on to my superficial understanding.

It seems that many of us, at various points in our beer-drinking journeys, adopt this kind of lingo, perhaps in a quest for validation or a deep-seated desire to appear well-versed in this intricate world. Do you, too, find yourself resorting to lofty phrases and terms, even if you’re a bit unclear about what they truly mean? It’s a curious part of beer culture, and you’re certainly not alone if you feel the same way!