The Art of Pretentious Beer Talk: A Personal Confession

At a recent gathering of beer enthusiasts, I found myself in a rather amusing predicament. As bottles were shared amongst friends, one particular offering—a barrel-aged sour—sparked an unexpected outburst from me. I confidently proclaimed my appreciation for how the “characteristic brett interacted with the oak tannins to create some beautiful phenolic compounds.”

Now, here’s the catch: I couldn’t actually tell you what phenolic compounds are if my life depended on it. I fear I may have jumbled together wine jargon with fragments I barely recalled from a brewing podcast I once listened to.

The truly comical aspect of this situation was the collective nodding from my peers, who seemed to take my gibberish as profound insight. Encouraged by their responses, I went even further, elaborating on how this particular beer expressed “local terroir through indigenous microflora.” If you don’t know what that means, join the club.

Just a month prior, I had caught myself ardently describing a beer’s “mouthfeel complexity,” but in reality, what I meant was that it tasted thick.

When I reflect on these moments, it becomes apparent that we’re often playing a game of craft beer mad libs, stringing together terminology we’ve heard, while secretly hoping we won’t be called out for our lack of understanding.

Have you experienced similar episodes? It seems that, more often than not, we find ourselves echoing the words of others, walking a fine line between genuine enthusiasm and pretension. Let’s embrace the humor in it and maybe, just maybe, start a conversation where we can all understand and enjoy beer without the need for complex terminology. Cheers!