Confessions of a Craft Beer Novice: When Pretentious Terms Take Over

Ah, the world of craft beer—a realm rich with creativity, flavor, and undoubtedly, its own unique lexicon. Many of us are drawn into this fascinating culture, excited to explore new brews and attend diverse tasting events. Yet, amidst this enthusiasm, there’s an amusing predicament that many of us find ourselves in: using complicated terminology that we barely understand, often in a bid to sound knowledgeable.

I had a recent experience at a bottle share that brought this to light. A fellow participant opened a barrel-aged sour beer, and as the first sip danced on my palate, I couldn’t help but regurgitate a phrase I’d picked up somewhere in the swirling atmosphere of beer enthusiasts: “I truly appreciate the characteristic brett interacting with the oak tannins to create some beautiful phenolic compounds.” What was I thinking? The truth is, I hadn’t the slightest clue what phenolic compounds were—I had effectively jumbled together bits of wine jargon mixed with half-remembered broadcasting from a brewing podcast.

To my surprise, everyone around me nodded in agreement, as if I had just imparted the wisdom of the beer gods. Emboldened by their response, I seized the moment to elaborate, insisting the beer “expresses local terroir through indigenous microflora.” I was left wondering if we’d collectively crossed over into the realm of pretension.

A month prior, I found myself describing a beer’s “mouthfeel complexity,” an undoubtedly fancy way to convey that it simply tasted thick. What a farce! I felt like I was improvising on a craft beer mad lib, piecing together phrases and hoping my audience wouldn’t catch on to my ruse.

I can’t shake the feeling that we’re all occasionally guilty of this. Often, we just mimic the buzzwords and expressions we’ve overheard, desperately hoping no one will call our bluff. So, do you relate? Have you ever found yourself diving into craft beer terminology that leaves you bewildered? Let’s share our stories and perhaps, inspire a more genuine approach to enjoying and discussing our favorite brews. Cheers!