The Art of Pretentious Beer Talk: Confessions from the Craft Beer Scene

As craft beer aficionados, we often find ourselves at gatherings where the conversation flows as freely as the brews. While it’s easy to get caught up in the moment, we sometimes employ language that sounds sophisticated but might not resonate with our actual understanding.

Recently, at a bottle share event, a bottle of barrel-aged sour was uncorked, and I seized the opportunity to showcase my knowledge—or at least, my attempt at it. In my enthusiasm, I proclaimed that I “truly appreciated the characteristic brett interacting with the oak tannins to create some beautiful phenolic compounds.” However, if I’m being honest, the term “phenolic compounds” was just a jumble of jargon I’d absorbed from a brewing podcast, devoid of real comprehension on my part.

To my surprise, the group around me nodded in agreement, as if I had just delivered the key to understanding the universe of craft beer. Spurred on by their affirmation, I went further, adding something about the beer “expressing local terroir through indigenous microflora.” What was I even talking about?

Not long ago, I had another moment of dubious articulation when I described a beer’s “mouthfeel complexity,” a rather grandiose way to express that it simply tasted thick. In retrospect, I realize that much of what we say in these discussions can sometimes come off as craft beer mad libs—strings of fancy terms strung together to create an illusion of expertise.

This brings to mind a larger question within the craft beer community: Are we all just echoing terms we’ve heard before, hoping that no one catches on? It’s a relatable experience, and perhaps it’s time we embrace the fact that we’re all learning together.

So, fellow beer enthusiasts, have you had your own moments of pretentious beer talk? Let’s share our stories and revel in the delightful absurdities of craft beer language!