The Art of Pretentious Beer Talk: Faking It in Craft Brewing

Craft beer enthusiasts often relish in the complexity and variety that different brews offer. However, amidst the passionate discussions, there are moments when we find ourselves spouting terminology that might sound sophisticated but, in reality, leaves us scratching our heads.

Recently, at a vibrant bottle share event, I found myself on the receiving end of a particularly intense moment. A friend opened a barrel-aged sour, prompting me to launch into a verbose analysis about how I “truly appreciated the characteristic Brett interacting with the oak tannins to create some beautiful phenolic compounds.” The catch? I had a vague understanding of what I was talking about—if any! I suspect I cobbled together a few terms I had picked up from wine discussions and half-remembered from a brewing podcast.

Much to my surprise, the group nodded along, seemingly impressed. Emboldened by their enthusiastic response, I ventured further, discussing how the beer was “expressing local terroir through indigenous microflora.” Meanwhile, an inner voice was screaming, “What are you doing?” The irony of my situation hit hard—I was essentially regurgitating phrases I believed made me sound knowledgeable, all while knowing they strayed far from my comprehension.

Just last month, in another one of those pretense-laden moments, I found myself raving about a beer’s “mouthfeel complexity,” when in simple terms, I really meant to say it had a thick texture. In reflection, I realized how often we engage in this sort of nonsense, fumbling through a medley of craft beer jargon as if we were participants in an avant-garde game of “beer mad libs.”

Does anyone else feel this way? It seems we sometimes resort to parroting phrases we’ve heard in hopes of avoiding scrutiny. After all, in the realm of craft beer, there’s a fine line between appreciating the intricacies and feigning expertise. Let’s share our experiences—what’s the most convoluted thing you’ve said about beer when all you really wanted to do was enjoy the drink?