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Steven Coulson
Steven has been drinking beers, wines and spirits for decades and has a propensity to go about them at length after a few drinks.
Latest Posts
- Oregon Road Trip: Freeland Spirits Garden Botanicals Gin
- Botanist with Trader Joe’s Lemon and Elderflower Soda
- I’m one of the worlds leading buyers of craft gin in the world and a international spirit judge AMA
- I’m blown away…. By how let down I am by this Gin.
- The Botanist 22 Gin Review: Perhaps the most overhyped gin around
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The Art of Pretentious Beer Speak: Confessions of a Hop-Head
In the world of craft beer enthusiasts, knowing how to articulate our tasting experiences can sometimes lead us down a hilariously pretentious path. Last weekend, at a relaxed bottle share gathering, I found myself in a situation that many may relate to. When a friend opened a barrel-aged sour, I couldn’t help but blurt out something about how I “truly appreciated the characteristic brett interacting with the oak tannins to create some beautiful phenolic compounds.” The reality? I had no clue what I was talking about.
If we’re honest, terms like “phenolic compounds” often sound impressive and knowledgeable—terms you hear on brewing podcasts or in winemaker circles. But do we truly understand them, or are we simply stringing together fancy phrases we’ve picked up over time? In my eagerness to sound knowledgeable, I realized I might have butchered some wine lingo and smushed it together with random tidbits from my memory.
To my astonishment, the audience responded with approving nods, likely caught up in the ambiance of the moment. Spurred on by their validation, I continued my theatrical discourse by mentioning something about the beer “expressing local terroir through indigenous microflora.” Admittedly, I was lost in my own pretentious wordplay, masking my ignorance with a veneer of sophistication.
Reflecting on this experience, I also recalled a recent instance where I described a beer’s “mouthfeel complexity,” when what I truly meant was that it made my taste buds feel like they were swimming in a thick, creamy ocean. It made me wonder—are we all just playing an elaborate game of craft beer Mad Libs?
The truth is, many of us may find ourselves parroting terms and phrases we’ve heard, all the while hoping we don’t get called out for not truly grasping their meanings. It’s a fun, albeit slightly nerve-wracking dance within the craft beer community. So, have you ever found yourself in a similar boat, trying desperately to sound sophisticated while momentarily confused about what you were saying? Share your stories—let’s embrace our pretentious confessions together!