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Steven Coulson
Steven has been drinking beers, wines and spirits for decades and has a propensity to go about them at length after a few drinks.
Latest Posts
- 57/m: Love beer, but it doesn’t love me as much anymore
- No Stupid Questions Wednesday – ask anything about beer
- Does anyone else get treated like a beer snob for ordering literally anything that isn’t a macro lager?
- Is there a polite way to refuse a beer that’s being served in the wrong glassware without making everyone at the table uncomfortable?
- # What’s the most pretentious thing you’ve ever said about beer that you secretly didn’t understand yourself?
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The Art of Pretending to Know Beer: A Lighthearted Confession
Have you ever found yourself in a conversation about beer, attempting to sound knowledgeable, only to realize you may have been lost in translation all along? It’s a common experience, especially in the world of craft brewing where terminologies can sometimes feel more complex than the brewing process itself.
Just last weekend, while attending a bottle share event, I encountered this very phenomenon firsthand. A fellow participant opened a barrel-aged sour, and without a moment’s hesitation, I found myself articulating how I “truly appreciated the characteristic brett interacting with the oak tannins to create some beautiful phenolic compounds.”
Now, let’s get real for a moment—what exactly are phenolic compounds? Truth be told, my understanding was as shaky as my confidence while I spoke. It seemed I combined wine jargon with snippets from a brewing podcast I’d half-listened to in the past. But the camaraderie of the gathering led everyone around me to nod in agreement as if I had just delivered some profound insight. Emboldened by their reaction, I feel almost embarrassed to admit that I went even further, tossing in a comment about the beer “expressing local terroir through indigenous microflora.”
Reflecting on these moments led me to recognize a pattern. Just last month, I described a beer’s “mouthfeel complexity,” a term that really just meant it felt thick—nothing more. It dawned on me that I was engaging in what I can only describe as a craft beer version of Mad Libs.
More often than not, it feels like we’re all taking turns parroting phrases and terminology we’ve overheard, hoping no one will be the one to call us out on our faux expertise. And isn’t that part of the fun? Have you ever experienced a similar moment of exaggerated confidence? Let’s embrace these instances of whimsical pretentiousness together!
Beer, after all, should primarily be about enjoyment and connection, and if we can have a few laughs while learning, that’s a success in itself. Cheers to the delightful world of craft beer—may we all continue to explore and, occasionally, misinterpret it!