The Art of Pretentious Beer Talk: Confessions from a Craft Brewer Enthusiast

Last weekend, I found myself at a bottle share event that turned out to be both enlightening and, admittedly, a bit embarrassing. As the evening progressed and the distinctive bottles were opened, a barrel-aged sour made its grand entrance. Fueled by enthusiasm (or perhaps the thrill of the moment), I confidently remarked on how I “truly appreciated the interplay between the characteristic brett and the oak tannins, resulting in some exquisite phenolic compounds.”

If only I had known what I was talking about! The truth is, I was merely stringing together a collection of terms I had gathered from wine discussions and snippets of brewing podcasts. My lack of understanding was overshadowed by the approving nods from those around me, which only emboldened my rambling. In a moment of bravado, I added something about the beer “expressing local terroir through indigenous microflora,” feeling quite proud of my newfound lexicon.

Reflecting on it now, I realize that I’ve often found myself using phrases that sound sophisticated but are, in reality, meaningless to me. Just last month, I described a beer’s “mouthfeel complexity,” when what I meant was that it had a thick texture. Nothing more. It seems I was crafting my own version of craft beer mad libs—cobbling together jargon in a bid to impress.

This experience got me thinking: Are we all just echoing the sophisticated language we’ve heard from others, hoping not to be exposed as pretenders? If you’ve ever caught yourself in a similar situation, where you faked your expertise over a complex beer description, you are not alone. Let’s unpack the notion of pretentiousness in the craft beer world, break down the jargon, and embrace the joy of simply enjoying great brews. After all, isn’t the love of beer what truly matters? Let’s share our stories and experiences—who’s willing to confess their own craft beer blunders?