The Art of Pretentious Beer Commentary: Confessions from the Craft Brewing Community

There’s often an air of sophistication that accompanies craft beer discussions. This was certainly the case at a recent bottle share I attended, where a lovely barrel-aged sour made its grand entrance. Eager to impress, I found myself diving headfirst into a monologue about how I “truly appreciated the characteristic brett interacting with the oak tannins to create some beautiful phenolic compounds.”

Truth be told, I had no grasp of what “phenolic compounds” entailed. My comments were likely an unintentional mash-up of wine speak combined with fragmented memories of brewing podcasts I had listened to. To my surprise, my audience nodded in agreement as if I had just unveiled a profound truth about the beer in question. Riding the wave of perceived expertise, I added a grandiloquent remark about the beer “expressing local terroir through indigenous microflora.”

Reflecting on my previous experiences, I recalled a conversation from last month where I waxed poetic about a beer’s “mouthfeel complexity.” In reality, I was simply referring to how thick it tasted. It was an exercise in linguistic gymnastics, collapsing under the weight of my own pretentiousness.

In many ways, I feel like I was playing a game of craft beer mad libs. How often do we find ourselves repeating phrases we’ve heard from others, hoping no one will notice we don’t fully grasp their meaning? Anyone else ever felt caught in this cycle of beer-related bravado? Share your thoughts—let’s decode the subtleties of this delightful beverage together!