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The Art of Pretentious Beer Talk: Confessions of a Craft Brew Novice

Last weekend, I attended a bottle share event where I encountered a remarkable barrel-aged sour ale. Eager to impress my fellow beer enthusiasts, I embarked on a seemingly insightful commentary about the brew. I eloquently declared that I “truly appreciated the interplay of brettanomyces with oak tannins, resulting in a stunning array of phenolic compounds.”

Now, let’s be honest—I had no clue what phenolic compounds even are. It felt like I had pieced together a patchwork of wine lingo and snippets from a brewing podcast I had listened to ages ago. To my surprise, my audience nodded along, perhaps assuming I was delivering some profound insights. Emboldened by their reaction, I ventured further into the territory of pretentious beer jargon by mentioning how the beer “expressed local terroir through indigenous microflora.”

Reflecting on my experience, I realized I’d inadvertently turned beer appreciation into a game of craft beer Mad Libs. Just last month, I found myself describing a beer’s “mouthfeel complexity,” when what I actually meant was that it had a pleasantly thick texture.

It dawned on me that many of us in the craft beer scene sometimes resort to repeating terms and phrases we’ve overheard, anxiously hoping we won’t be called out. Does anyone else find themselves caught in this web of pretentious beer speak? If so, you’re not alone. Let’s embrace the joy of beer without the buzzwords!