33 American Lagers Tasted: A Journey Through the Shady Side of Beer

As a dedicated explorer of the beer world, I’ve ventured through a myriad of styles, but I recently found myself craving a return to the simpler, more traditional American lagers. After years immersed in the craft beer scene, I realized that I had never truly embraced the “bad lager” phase. My college days were dominated by fruity vodka concoctions and the occasional Crown Royal, and by the time I turned 21, I was deep into the craft beer aisles.

This reflection led me to a daring idea: why not organize a tasting event featuring a selection of “shitty” lagers? I thought it would be the perfect way to entertain my friends—and perhaps even torture them a little! After much deliberation, I managed to round up 33 American lagers, spanning popular brands and Michigan-brewed options. I ensured that most of them were still fresh, according to recommended guidelines.

The tasting took place over the course of one exhausting evening; navigating through so many beers with similar profiles was no easy feat. The sheer volume of lagers was mentally draining, and the aftermath left me feeling surprisingly worse than many craft beers usually do. I chalked it up to the lower-quality ingredients often used in these mass-produced lagers—definitely not an experience I want to repeat anytime soon.

Despite the challenges, we managed to establish a clear winner by the end of the night, with many participants’ top choices closely aligning. For the next four months, I revisited these lagers multiple times, sampling them in different contexts: by brewing company, ranked by personal taste, and through countless side-by-sides. Each tasting felt like an extensive research project, prompting me to question my obsession with ranking such beers. Nonetheless, the quest continued.

So, without further ado, here’s my ranking of the lagers, from the surprisingly delightful to the downright dreadful.

My Lager Rankings

1. High Life – 4/5
   Dubbed “The Champagne of Beers,” this standout lager soared above the rest. Its balanced flavor profile, crisp maltiness, and just the right amount of hops set a high bar for American lagers.

2. Pabst Blue Ribbon Extra – 4/5
   A delightful surprise, this lager provides a richer and bolder experience compared to regular PBR, showcasing improved ingredient quality and a complex